Living with Others

This book is intended for anyone thinking of living or already living with strangers, friends and family—especially strangers. Major life transitions such as heading off to college, taking on a new job and moving to a new location have been documented extensively, often with accompanying recommendations, over the years. Leaving the family home and finding somewhere to live that presents shared living conditions is one of those life transitions for which no one has ever been properly trained.
Drawing on 40 years of personal experience, as well as interviews with academics, psychologists and CEOs from around the world, this work is a springboard to harmonious shared living. Living with others involves situations that stump even the best therapists and life coaches, particularly if they’ve never had roommates. This book will empower readers to handle anything that comes their way without professional help (while saving a great deal of money along the way).

A veteran of living with others, David Ruby has shared homes in cities around the world including London, New York and Paris with friends, strangers, and family for almost 40 years.
 

David Ruby
Format: softcover (6 x 9)
Pages: 229
Bibliographic Info: appendix, index
Copyright Date: 2025
pISBN: 978-1-4766-9276-0
eISBN: 978-1-4766-5593-2
Imprint: Toplight

Acknowledgments viii
Preface 1
Introduction 3
Disclaimer 4
The Key Players and Their Roles 5

Part A—Growing Up
 1. Childhood to Adulthood 8
 2. The College Years 10
Part B—Finding Somewhere to Live
 3. Your Choices as a ­First-Time Roomsharer 21
 4. Wising Up Before Committing to a Roomshare 30
 5. How to Avoid an Agency Ripping You Off 35
 6. How Do You Know If This Is the Right Roomshare for You? 38
 7. Your First Professional Roomshare 44
 8. The Veteran Roomshare 46
Part C—Getting Roomsmart
 9. Getting Lawsmart 50
10. Getting Rentsmart 55
11. Getting Costsmart 63
12. Staying Roomsmart When Idiots Can’t Pay Their Costs 67
Part D—Finding Roommates
13. Attending a Roomshare Interview 72
14. By the Way, Discrimination Is Legal in Roomshares 77
15. How Old Is Too Old to Be Living with a Roommate? 82
16. Establishing a Group Dynamic That Works 90
17. What to Do When a Roommate Leaves 102
18. Interviewing People for Your Roomshare 104
Part E—Rules of Roomshare Living
19. Cooking 111
20. Working from Home 116
21. Having Friends Over 120
22. Living with Pets 122
23. Decorating a Roomshare 124
24. Weekends 127
25. Big Occasions 130
26. The Roomshare Taboos 135
Part F—Rules of Hygiene
27. The Communal Areas 148
28. Bathroom 151
29. Individual Behavior 153
30. Washing Your Dishes 157
31. Drying Your Clothes 160
Part G—Romance Kills the Roomshare
32. Dating in a Roomshare 165
33. Living as a Couple in a Roomshare 168
34. A Single Person Living with a Couple 171
35. Living with a Partner 175
36. Living with Your Ex 178
Part H—The End of the Roomshare
37. Accidentally Living Alone 182
38. When the Landlord Asks You All to Leave 185
39. You’re Technically Homeless 187
40. Moving In with Family 190
41. What’s Next?—Buying Your Own Home? 193
Part I—Actually Living with Idiots
42. This Is Literally Idiot Central 203
43. How to Get Out of Living with Idiots 205
Part J—Actually Living in Paradise (As Close as You Can, Anyway)
44. What It Takes to Live in Paradise (Metaphorically) 210

Final Thoughts 213
Appendix: Checklists 217
Index 219